How could Al Gore not back this candidate? He's green! And I mean he is actually green. Is Rudy Giuliani green? I think not. Has anyone ever confused Hillary for a giant shrub? No way! Does Barack Obama match his broccoli? Not a chance! Only one candidate is truly green, and that's the Incredible Hulk. Plants love him. Polluters fear him! Problems with pollution of the world's waterways? No problem! Hulk is in the Justice League. He can just give his pal Aquaman a call. In fact, who needs a woman president when the president is friends with Wonder Woman? She can totally kick Hillary's butt in a fight... I think.
Hulk Smash!
Hulk is a Washington outsider. Hulk is tough on partisan politics. Hulk is tough on filibustering members of the non-Hulk party. What does Hulk do to put an end to the beaurocratic garbage Washington is inundated with on a daily basis? HULK SMASH! HULK SMASH THE PARTISAN POLITICS! HULK SMASH THE FILIBUSTERING POLITICIANS! HULK SMASH PORK BARRELL POLITICS! Nobody would cross the Hulk. Would you? I didn't think so. Put the Hulk in office and watch Washington become a well-oiled governing machine.
Seven Words
"You won't like me when I'm angry." That's all it takes. You think Carter was a genious in negotiating for the Iranian hostages? Try letting President Banner say those words in a negotiation and see what happens. You think George W. Bush's New England cowboy routine is always going to work? Forget that - just the threat of the president growing into a giant green destruction machine is enough to make negotiations lean in his favor. "Kim Jong-il, were you going to keep striving for North Korean nuclear weapons? Yes? Yes??? Please don't make me angry. You won't like me when I'm angry. Oh, you've changed your answer to no? Good for you. I'm glad these negotiations went so well! I'm feeling less angry already!" Just remember, the madder Hulk gets, the stronger Hulk gets.